Prepare your children for the world

When we talk about loving our children, loving them means preparing them to stand on their own feet.

Out there in the real world, your children will have to pull their own weight and make their own way. If you set your standards for them low, they will achieve those low standards, and they won't grow. It is important for your children to learn self-sufficiency, develop high self-esteem and be motivated early on in life.

If you are constantly helping them with their daily chores, their homework or taking care of all their needs, you are in fact crippling them. It's not fair to them to enable them for most of their teenage years then all of a sudden just put them on the street so to speak. You have created the problem. There's got to be a plan. There's got to be a transition.

Make sure you are communicating with your children and sharing your mistakes and solutions with them. It is important to instill a sense of responsibility in them by giving them tasks to complete and foster independence by asking for their input.

Very important is to give them good financial skills. It is never too early to start, when they are in primary school give your children chores so that they can earn what they want, and teach them about saving.

All you can do as a parent is prepare your children to the best of your ability. Make sure you do not pressure them into living the life you wished you did, but instead give them the right tools to choose and create a good life for themselves.

Reward and Punishment: Helpful or Hurtful

If you have not started the habit of rewarding with material prizes-don't!

A conception among some, parents and teachers alike, is that rewards and punishment can be useful and effective when trying to motivate a child to do a desired task, such as homework. However, pupils who are lured into doing something for a reward are less likely to do it again if no reward is given. Similarly, punishment or consequences often evokes in a child feeling of anger, defiance and a desire for revenge. This means that reward and punishment, even if it seems minor, could produce the opposite of the desired effect.

The most effective type of reward is giving praise. Praise that is effective because it refers directly to specific task performances, it is most effective because it emphasizes that success depends on the amount of effort one put in. Receiving praise and good feedback assists learners in evaluating themselves, helping them to create reachable goals. Once your child has established goals for homework or studying, they have already begun the process of becoming a self-regulated learner, or a child who has knowledge of effective learning strategies and how and when to use them. A parent's goal should be to help their child become a self-regulated learner.

Overall, rewards and punishments should be avoided if at all possible. They are quick fixes for parents who want to motivate their children to do well in school. In the long run, learners will be more motivated and eager to learn if their motivation is not determined by conditional extrinsic factors, but intrinsic ones. Using praise only when a child has done well. It is a mild form of reward that can teach that the amount of effort exerted and success are positively linked

Parenting for the new school year

Who wants to go from blissful summer holidays into stressful back-to-school mode? Surely no-one and to avoid this a simple bit of planning and thought can help.

With multiple children comes multiple schedules, bills and activities that require a master juggler to make it work.

To navigate the year ahead, have a year planner where all the different activities your children are involved in, the scheduled holidays and public holidays are mapped out. Be aware of your child's school timetable so that you are always aware of what is happening during the day. This is a great example to set for your children. Knowing what lies ahead will reduce stress because it allows you to plan and organize what is needed well in advance. It is also a good idea to display the year planner where all can see it so that you are all on the same page.

Budget is a serious consideration for most people and a set back-to-school and monthly school budget will encourage responsibility and saving in the family and give all of you a clear idea of what you can and cannot afford to do.

Then last but not least, talk to your children about responsibility, let them know exactly what you expect of them during the school year. Make sure children know they are responsible for their chores, completing homework and assignments, and remembering project dates. Together as a team, you will be able to have a stress free school year!