There's no such thing as a bad child...

In 1968, Rosenthal & Jacobson published a study called Pygmalion in the classroom. The study was conducted at a lower middle income school, where the principal, Lenore Jacobson, and Robert Rosenthal, an educational psychologist, told teachers at the school, after conducting what purported to be an new form of IQ test, that several children had IQ results which showed they were gifted and capable of learning at a rapid rate.

The result of this was that the teachers taught those children differently. The children learned at a rapid rate. The teachers had higher expectations of those children. They gave them more input, and more chances.

As parents we have such power. Our children have belief and faith in us, however difficult and troublesome they sometimes appear to be. If we tell them they are clever, and are capable, and that we believe in them, then they will believe in themselves. If we tell them all the time how wicked and incapable they are, they will believe us.

Children are at school a lot of the day. We do not always know what they are being exposed to. We might have to deal with bullying, or with our child being a bully. If our children have strong belief in themselves, and a good, wide open world view, then what happens at school doesn’t have to be the end of the world for them. They can benefit from the good, and deal with the bad.

Teachers are human. Not all teachers are as fair or sensible as we would like them to be. When there is a dispute between your child, and a teacher, then the important thing for all parents to do is to support their child. Many schools value “discipline” – punctuality and tidiness- over learning. When a child is being picked on about something other than schoolwork, then don’t hesitate to confront the teacher. It is also the teachers duty to mark all work completed by a child, as not doing so is an infringement of the child’s constitutional rights to an education. So if a teacher is refusing to mark work because it is late, don’t hesitate to complain.

Most importantly, make sure you protect your child’s confidence from attack. It isn’t appropriate for teachers to tell children “you will never amount to anything” “you are useless”. These are forms of verbal abuse, and shouldn’t happen.

When in doubt, stay staunch with your children. Don’t worry if teachers aren’t your best friends. It is more important to be a good parent than to be big chums with a teacher. Often the teachers who seek to befriend parents do so to ensure that the parent will not give credit to a child complaints about being picked on. It’s not usual for children to lie unless they are always being told they are untruthful. Once someone is being blamed for doing something they did not do, there is no real value for them in not doing it. They are already guilty…why not commit the crime… So don’t criminalise your kids, and keep a sense of humour. A lot of the drama associated with schooling comes from the childish and pompous nature of the school system. The only reason to get upset with your children is if they aren’t doing their work. If you praise them they will like work. People like being praised, it makes them feel good, and makes them willing to work harder.

-Katy Alexander
READ Educational trust